| Shelby Pearson --> Melanie Hamilton Wilkes |
[Saturday
May 25th, 2019 at 12:09am] |
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mood |
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And we know it's never simple, never easy
Never a clean break, no one here to save me
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand ( ... )
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| Friday November 11; 11am EST (ATL) |
[Friday
November 11th, 2011 at 11:56am] |
Private; Readable by Sydney & AshleighI think Jon almost kissed me the other night.
I'm not sure. Maybe I just wanted him to kiss me. I'm a horrible, horrible person. He's MARRIED! He has two beautiful children and a wife whom he really loves. I shouldn't be thinking about him like this. I shouldn't be wanting him to break his vows.
I just can't seem to stop wishing I need to move on. I need to go out, maybe meet someone new. I need to stop comparing every guy to him.
I just wish I knew how to actually do that. /Private
I can't believe it's almost Thanksgiving already. The time is going so fast. Mom and Dad want me to come out to LA for awhile. I have to admit, it will be nice to visit.
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| Sunday October 23rd; 9am EST (ATL) |
[Sunday
October 23rd, 2011 at 9:08am] |
Private.Why do I have to have those dreams? WHY WHY WHY? Dreaming about being married to Jon is bad enough. Dreaming about our sex life? So. Much. Worse. I mean, it felt so, so good in my dream, but it's just so frustrating. Why do I have to dream about something I can never have?
Ugh. I hate you, subconscious. /Private
Private to Jon.I was thinking of tagging along the next time you go to New York. Ashleigh has that baby I am dying to visit. What do you think? Think you can stand to be stuck on a plane with me for a few hours? ;) /Private
I really need to get myself to New York. The pictures Ashleigh sent me of Catrena are lovely, but I'm sure they don't do her justice.
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| Saturday September 10th; 7pm EST |
[Saturday
September 10th, 2011 at 8:16pm] |
It is so unbelievably amazing to have Jon here. I still can't believe this isn't just a visit. I've really missed him since he moved to New York!
In other news, I've gotten a promotion of my own at work. It's pretty exciting. It means a little less time in the office and a more flexible schedule, which I'm pretty excited about. Also, more money, which is always a good thing.
Mom and Dad have been bugging me to visit, so I guess I'll need to head out to LA at some point. I selfishly don't want to leave Atlanta while Jon is still getting settled, though.
Private to Jon.We're going dancing tonight. You do not have a choice in this. /Private
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| Friday July 1st; 9am EST (Atlanta) |
[Friday
July 1st, 2011 at 9:52am] |
Who's idea was it to go out last night? I think I'll blame Syd.
My head hurts. I'm glad I only have to work a half a day today. It's possible I had a little too much fun.
Private; Syd can read.I may or may not have texted Jon last night while we were out. It's possible I said a few things I probably shouldn't have. The next time we go out drinking, take my phone away, please. /Private>
Private to Jon.Hey... /Private
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| Wednesday May 25th; 5pm EST (ATL) |
[Wednesday
May 25th, 2011 at 7:56pm] |
It seems the company I work for is being sold. We've all been assured that out jobs are safe, at least in my department, but I can't help feeling a little anxious about how things are going to play out.
Private to Jon.Sawyer Publishing, isn't that the company you're working for up there? /Private
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| sunday november 14; 2pm est |
[Sunday
November 14th, 2010 at 2:42pm] |
( cut for lyrics )
I really love that song. I don't know why. Probably because it's ridiculously catchy.
In other news, I'll be spending a weekend in New York soon. Still trying to work out dates, but I'm looking forward to it. Mama and Daddy want me back in LA for Thanksgiving and Christmas, of course, but maybe I can squeeze a trip in between.
Anyone else have big, exciting plans for the holidays?
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| Sunday July 11; 10pm EST |
[Sunday
July 11th, 2010 at 10:46pm] |
I'm craving pancakes. Does anyone want to go to IHOP with me?
Private.Jon is married. He's married. No matter how many times I write that out, I still can't believe it's true. It feels like a bad dream.
I know I have no one to blame but me, but I always thought it would be me up there saying those vows to him. Aly seems like such a sweet girl, but I keep waiting to wake up and find out it's not really too late.
Stupid, right? /Private.
The new job is going really well. I think I definitely made the right decision.
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| Monday June 14; 7pm EST (Atlanta) |
[Monday
June 14th, 2010 at 7:22pm] |
After so many years in Los Angeles, it's a little weird to be living in Georgia again. It's a good kind of weird, though as long as I stay inside with my air conditioning. It's freaking hot outside. I'm still getting acclimated to my apartment in Atlanta. Thanks to my help, I have most of my things moved in, but I have about a zillion boxes to unpack.
On the bright side, Mama and Daddy and I decided to sell my old car, which was really becoming a piece of crap, anyway, and just get a new one here. Putting the mileage on my old one seemed stupid, anyway, and I do have this nice new job, which means I'm pretty sure I could swing a payment. So.. who wants to come car shopping with me this week? Not that I don't loooove MARTA, but I'm kind of anxious to find something and I'm pretty sure taking some testosterone along will help keep the dealer from trying to swindle the "helpless little country girl."
In the meantime, I think I'm going to go get some dinner. Maybe a little ice cream for dessert. Have I mentioned how hot it is?
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| Monday May 10 | 1pm PST (LA) |
[Monday
May 10th, 2010 at 1:09pm] |
The quarter ends exactly one month from tomorrow. In a month and a day, I will be graduating from college. It's a little surreal. I swear, it feels like I was just starting college. It hardly feels like it should be time to graduate already.
I think I'm going to accept the offer from Meredith. It's a good position, nice salary with some good benefits. I'm going to miss LA so much, but I think Atlanta will be a nice change. I'm going to have to find and apartment and all that, so I'm going to have to head back out there for a weekend really soon to start looking.
Is it me, or does it just feel like it's all happening so fast? We're graduating. We're getting real jobs and Jon is getting married and having a baby we really, really have to be grown up soon.
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| Tuesday February 23; 8:52am PST (LA) |
[Tuesday
February 23rd, 2010 at 8:46am] |
[Private; Close friends who are not Jon Martin can read]
She's pregnant. Jon's girlfriend is pregnant. I really can't believe this is happening. I keep thinking I'm going to wake up any minute and find out this is just one of those really stupidly vivid dreams only it's not like something out of Gone With the Wind this time.
I'm.. I can't even put how this feels into words. I guess it's been over for us for awhile, but this... this is it. She's pregnant. He's going to marry her and they're going to be disgustingly happy and it really, really is too late now. It feels like the end of.. something.
The worst part is that he knows me better than anyone, almost better than Syd, and I can't tell him how I feel. I can't let him see.. He needs me. I have to be there for him through this, no matter how much it hurts.
[/Private]
In other news, Peachtree and Meredith have both been sending a little woo my way, so I'm presently leaning towards a move to Atlanta after graduation. What do you think, Syd? Room for one more in that apartment?
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| Tuesday November 24; 7:54pm PST (LA) |
[Tuesday
November 24th, 2009 at 11:48pm] |
It almost feels silly going back to Blackshear for a mere four days only to come back to LA just long enough for finals. Granny's cooking Thanksgiving dinner, though and it feels wrong, somehow, to miss it. Especially since I hear through the grapevine that a certain best friend of mine will be at home, too. It almost feels like old times, doesn't it? Except, you know, that Jon and Matt have both moved on and we're all adults now, but whatever
We should have an old fashioned slumber party or something, Syd! Stay up late and talk and do all those girly things and watch horrible movies and binge on junk food. We'll have to run 10 miles the next day to work it all off, but it'll be worth it, yeah?
I can just about taste Granny's dressing now. Why isn't it Thursday, yet?
[Private to Jon]
Are you and Gracie going home this year or are you staying in LA?
[/Private]
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| Tuesday September 15; 5:53pm EST (Blackshear) |
[Tuesday
September 15th, 2009 at 6:03pm] |
It's amazing to think that we'll be headed back to Los Angeles next week. I'm anxious, I'll admit. I've loved being in Blackshear for the summer, but I have missed Mama and Daddy and it'll be nice to get back to them and my friends in Los Angeles.
Those that aren't ditching me to follow a man to New York, that is. :P
In the meantime, I've been helping Jon and Gracie plan this party Gracie wanted to throw this weekend. It's a good idea. One last bit of fun before we go back to the city and school and all of that.
I'm craving Captain Joe's. Does anyone want to come along?
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| Tuesday August 11; 10:30pm EST |
[Tuesday
August 11th, 2009 at 10:30pm] |
I would really, really appreciate it if my brain would let me sleep.
[Private; Readable by close friends who are NOT Jon Martin]
Jon's home.
That should be a good thing and it is, except that he's brought a girl home with him. A girl who has a daughter and he's practically playing daddy and he really likes her, I can tell.
I don't have a right to be jealous. I know this. I wish I could turn the feeling off. I wish I could not care that he has obviously moved on.
It's just.. he's brought her home. He must be serious about her if he's brought her home. I always thought we would
I know it's my own fault, but I guess I just kind of figured we had time to finish growing up and work it out. Especially after what happened right after we came home from LA. It felt like it was still there and I don't know if I'm just holding onto the memory of us or...
I just don't know. I definitely didn't expect him to be bringing a girl home with him, though.
[/Private]
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| [backdated] June 20; 11am EST |
[Monday
July 20th, 2009 at 3:44pm] |
[Private to Self; Readable by close friends who are NOT Jon Martin]
I am SUCH an idiot. Seriously. SUCH an idiot.
What was I even thinking? One minute, Jon and I were taking a break from fishing and the next minute we were... yeah. See, I can't even type it! weyueirutyiutyreiuwyiuyiuytiuewyiuywe
We're over. We're so far over that he's practically playing Daddy to some kid that isn't even his and sleeping with random bimbos and... I don't even want us to be a thing. I don't. I don't think I do. Too much time has passed, right? We're both completely different people now.
Or I am, anyway.
But, fuck, it was good.
[/Private]
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| Tuesday May 26; 8:13PM PST |
[Tuesday
May 26th, 2009 at 11:12pm] |
Can you believe that it's almost summer already? This year has sped by so fast! It feels like it was just September, doesn't it? It's almost June already. So weird.
In other news, I have Dodgers tickets for next week. Does anyone want to take in a baseball game with me?
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